2.) Be selfish: 

Are you each clear about what your individual needs are and do you communicate them openly? Through my postpartum depression, we both learned that prioritizing my self-care was not to be taken lightly. When I feel good about myself inside and out, I take better care of those around me and have a much greater capacity to love hard. This applies to both parties in a relationship. G needs his workouts and basketball time. He has a weekly guys’ night. I stick to a morning and night skincare routine. At LEAST once a week I’ll get outside to take a long walk in the fresh air. I do brunch with my girlfriends. I even started splurging and taking private dance classes because it’s a passion of mine that I wanted to have back in my life, to feel more like myself again after having a baby. When your partner understands your needs, that’s HOT.  

3.) Quality over quantity: 

Sex that is. G and I used to have sex at LEAST everyday… yea. After having Ále we started having sex less and less, not because we didn’t want to, but because we were physically and mentally completely depleted. When this first started happening I was almost ashamed to admit it. Then I realized that it wasn’t the quantity, it was the quality that counted. Some weeks we’d have sex 4 to 5 times in a row still. Sometimes we’d have sex once a month. But every time, we’d still give it everything we had in us to remind each other how much we still LOVED our sex, always leaving the other wanting more for the next time, even if that was another 2 weeks away. 

4.) FLIRT: 

Even if we’re not having wild sex everyday, we are sure to constantly show each other some type of physical affection. Whether it be long hugs, kissing, massages, little butt grazes throughout the day, you name it! I realize a lot of people aren’t comfortable with this kind of affection and it may even feel cheesy at first, but I promise when you get into the habit of it, it almost becomes like a game and really keeps the connection alive between sex. Also a little word of advice, if you are going to Netflix n Chill, the “chill” part needs to come first because once the Netflix goes on, you’ll be out cold like G and I after a long day of work and caring for a toddler!

5.) Dream, believe, achieve, TOGETHER: 

G and I love our passion projects. Because we work together day in and day out, we’re aware that we need to keep things spicy in that department too. For us that’s music. Since we both originally came from the music world, we find ways to keep it alive for both of us whether that be recording acoustic songs on the piano (G plays, I sing) or shooting music videos to new music I’ve recorded that G’s produced. For you and your partner it may be starting a Pinterest board of what your dream home looks like, making a goal of saving a certain amount each month for your children’s college education, or taking tango lessons together! It really doesn’t matter what your common passion is, just as long as you establish one so you dream and grow in the same direction. If the passion project gets stale, pivot and find a new one, but do it together. 

Lastly, remember this: 

nothing comes before US. Stressed with work, missed a deadline, not reason enough to go cold on each other and not connect, have dinner as a family, and have at least 30 minutes to an hour of US time at night before going to bed. Communicate, hear each other, see each other, seek love. US against the world.